Loving Yourself...Truly the Greatest Love of All ...

     Learning to love and accept yourself can be hard. Trust me when I say it's easier said than done. I think everyone assumes you love yourself. You find out during those tough times when you have only yourself to depend on. It's a process. It takes maturity and accepting You for who You are-flaws and all, what you stand for, where you are in life and where you're going. It takes being honest with yourself. It's realizing that despite some mistakes you are still fabulous.
   I remember a time in my life when I wasn't too happy with me. I didn't like my circumstances, how I looked, where I was headed in life. I just was not happy and my situation didn't help. I found myself falling into a depression. I didn't want to be seen, I didn't want to get dressed, I was just down.
   My godmom gave me an assignment. She said "Nesha, I want you to stand in the mirror everyday and say I love you and you are beautiful." I hesitated on doing it. I thought it was kind of silly. The first time I did it I found myself breaking down. I cried looking at me. It's like every emotion I was feeling came at me at once. I realized in that moment that I was sacrificing my happiness for someone else.
   I did not like who and what I saw looking back at me. She looked sad, tired, emotionless, drained and just unhappy. But also in that moment I realized it was time for change and not just for me but for my children. They needed to see me smile more. A happy mom is always a better mom! How could I be at my best for them if I wasn't happy with myself? I did this "assignment" daily. The first week was the hardest. I repeated those words through my tears "Nesha you I love you and you Are beautiful." I would say them a couple times a night. Slowly I start to believe what I was saying. My confidence came back, I started to smile more, laugh, get dressed...It's like I came out of my shell. I started to become comfortable with me again. People were noticing they started to comment that I seemed different, happier, more assured. And that's exactly what I felt! Today, I LOVE ME some ME!!! LOL! I'm serious though. There are areas where I could improve/need work. But overall I am happy with me. I'm proud of where I'm at and happier about where I'm going. The "Nesha" you see today is one who accepts herself (flaws and all) and is on a journey to really find myself. I've learned that Whitney said it best when she sung that "Loving yourself is the greatest love of all". Loving yourself teacehes you how to love others. It teaches you that despite those that try to take you down you can overcome. It teaches you to set standards, have morals, set goals and learn to not only live but to Enjoy life. Learning to love yourself is a process. It can be an emotional ride but it's a ride that needs to be taken. Loving yourself helps you get to that place of living a purposeful life and realizing you're worth it and you deserve it. Why you may ask? We were ALL meant to live a Fabulous life...so let's live it!!! P.S This post is very personal and near and dear to me. It was hard writing it and harder publishing it so I hope you take what I'm saying serious and if you need to do the assignment it may help you! Ladies, I enjoy this blog and reaching out and sharing what I've been through but I also want to hear from you so feel free to comment and please everyone go and like my new page on facebook at www.facebook.com/womenin3D Thanks you ALL for the support!!! xoxo NESHA

THINK POSITIVE. BE POSITIVE.

These days I'm all about positivity. We see so much negative around us already that I've made the conscience decision not to engage with negative people. Bottom line ...I'm not allowing anyone to take me out of my element. Period! It's not worth it.
 When we allow ourselves to think positively we find ourselves involved in more positive things in our lives. I'm a firm believer in karma, you get what you put out. You reap what you sow. You are who you surround yourself with.
 We (as women) deal with a lot day to day. We already have so much responsibility so why add to an already full plate? Sure we'll face hard times, difficult moments and difficult people but we can still take something from each of these situations. Because there are lessons to be learned in most situations that arise in our life. The biggest one is how will we respond when we are facing something negative or unpleasant. These are the moments that show our true character.
 So instead of allowing yourself to entertain negativity find the positive in your life and put your focus there. As much as we can help it let's begin to surround ourselves around those people and things that add to our lives. Thinking and Being positive is the new focus for our lives.
 Ladies let's take on a new approach, instead of giving your precious time and energy to a negative person/situation ask yourself a couple questions:
1. How is this person/thing bettering me in any way?
2. After it is said and done what substance has been added to my life?   
 See the thing about negative people is that they find their pleasure in getting you to react in a way unlike yourself. That makes them feel like they have some type of power when they can get you riled up. The truth is no one should have that type of control over you. You are better than what they are perceiving you as. My dad once told me it makes you more powerful to walk away from some situations and people. The control they thought they had to get at you,  affect your mood, make you react in a way that you won't feel good about later...take all that away. That would eat at them more than you always reacting to their negativity. Try it!!
 Focus on doing those things that make you happy and that you enjoy. Surround yourself with people who not only avoid drama but who also want to move forward in life.
And if you ever find yourself giving in to the nonsense...get back on the positive road ASAP! Don't give time or energy to the things that try to take you back, remove yourself and keep moving forward.
At the end of the day you want your positives to outweigh the negative. When you think Positive thoughts you'll learn to be Positive.
You were meant to live a Fabulous and Positive life ...Let's live it Ladies!!!

Playing Catch-Up...

Sometimes we allow ourselves to get so caught up on other things we look up and realize life is passing us by. Now you find yourself playing "catch up" to do those things you always wanted but pushed aside. I like the saying "Life is what's happening while we're busy making other plans" {Unknown}. We've all sat down at one time or another and planned out how we wanted life to be. We wanted to finish school at this age, have children at this age, etc. And then things go completely different. Whether things of our control or not. Life does keep going. Instead of beating yourself up with the I wish or I should'ves and so on...Start Now! It's never too late to go after what you want. It's never too late to chase a dream. Sure things may not have happened as you liked or wanted. Don't block a bigger blessing. Don't sit in self-pity. Don't beat yourself up over what hasn't been done. Commit to trying Now! In the end that's all that you can do anyway. I remember after my relationship ended with my children's father I sat wondering Wow, where has the years gone? I had never paid a lot of attention before. I was so focused on him and the children I lost sight of me and my dreams. Every since I've felt like I'm playing catch up. I no longer dwell on the time lost or the goals yet undone. I'm working on them. I realized that was a part of my life I needed to go through. So instead of beating myself up and getting down I'm looking ahead at what's in store for me. Don't worry if you're playing "catch up". Just keep striving and working toward your goal/dream, that's the important thing. You'll get there so stay focused. You were meant to live a Fabulous life...so work on living it!